Letter Twenty One

一些驚人的巧合。工作室註冊成立於10月8日。同事以不同人格創作。表演。去看房看到一個疑似妳的房間，房客法國小美女笑著對我說喜歡表演與服裝設計但似乎表演太競爭了。貓咪，整個工作室的男人都養(過)一隻以上的貓咪。附近還有兩隻街貓。一公一母。母的大腹便便，長得很像縮小版的露西。

今天共租工作室的藝術家笑笑地說：「這隻母貓快生了，你問問看朋友有沒有要養小貓咪？」

工作室的凌亂比你之前的公寓有過之無不及。我說要掃地，同事愣了一下說: 地板有髒嗎？


想念，我親愛的妹妹。

Letter Twenty

Dear sis,

I dreamed of you last night, with Kiki, in our room before. Kiki was hiding in the bookshelf, and I couldn't find him. You mentioned he was inside, and I opened the door of bookshelf. He was there. I tried to catch him and hugged him like a kid. Then, you disappeared. 

I feel lost last night and today. 

I almost forgot yesterday was the official 4 years of your leaving. This huge, deep and painful heart-broken memory seems healing somehow, or am I just taking you as an excuse to be melancholy? 

Should meet more people. should sing, should dance, should get married...should NOT be alone. 

We set so many standards to bury ourselves in the darkest. One thing I should always know. There is not SHOULD. Like I thought you should have been the one that accompany me for this life in the family. But it didn't turn out like this. 

I watched a Japanese drama series, Last Cinderella, about a 39-year-old woman falls in love with 24-year-old man. (Haruma is super cute and sexy)!!! And I just realized, I've changed so few in love thing. I always get attracted with a guy, energetic, full of life, and with one outstanding expertise. And I like mixed extremely: either super manly or girly handsome. I like 6 feet tall, 70s kilos, not to fat. And I can find several similar guys like this in my love history. 

32.

Can you imagine, if you are here, you are almost 30? Maybe you won't look like that. Or maybe you are about to marry cuz you always have love things around you. 

Do you think? sigh, whenever I feel like talking to you is the moment that I feel like is empty or lonely. 

my dear baby sister...I am trying really hard on the job hunting here. and love. and dream. 

Please let the wind blow faster to lead me further. Please. 


xx and hugs.

Nana.

Letter Nineteen

So let's do this. Your drawing exhibition, which supposedly happened in 2009 or 2010. 

I will join the competition of Curate award by end of summer. Original idea is to hold the exhibitions in CSM and TNUA with your drawing and 100 tweets (as poems, deep sentences) that tell how those who lost their beloved family/friends for depression heal themselves, or face the truth, or encourage others. 

That's the idea so far. Start it from tomorrow. 


Love you.

Sis. 

Letter Eighteen

This is me now.

Longer period of PMS by aging, or moving into new environment.

I am easily to get angry, upset and depressed.

So several ways to make me happy are sleep, meditation and think about good things happening. 

Good things.

Dear sis, Hope.

Letter Seventeen

"我最親愛的，你過得怎麼樣？"

我有點憂鬱，或許是天氣或許是金錢或許是健康種種。以前跨年都會告訴自己怎麼樣都得獨自活下去，探索世界。但今年真的不想了一個人了。我想要一個家，不管在哪裡。

剛剛點了掉了與聽海送你，新年快樂，Happy 2013


Love, sis.

Letter Sixteen

親愛的妹子，

今天看實習工作看得有點慌。一方面是自己為了飯碗得快點丟工作了、一方面是在思索自己是否繼續在公關業工作。再來就是，假期很不想看工作啊！

你覺得呢？我不斷說著想找散播歡樂與愛的工作，其實我一直在做吧？或者最該歡樂與愛的人是我。什麼是你真正想做的呢？這問題我今天不斷問我自己......


xxxx
姊

Letter Fifteen

老妹若上完了兩周課程我就跟你說想轉系你會不會覺得很苦惱啊 (你應該不會是我會)

1. The course is not as diverse as the course leader mentioned. The student's profile and the results they value are really focus on visual so far...

2. No tutors except the course leader understands my background, which is really difficult to work with in the beginning. I am thinking over and over again about my position and crucial problems these days.

From the other side, I think it's a good chance for me to dive deeper in what I really want to do here. No matter what it ends, I will get the answer soon.

xx