Letter Twenty Three

Dear Sis, 

I just found that the name of my blog again, 'A place after drunk'. Last night I went through, or looked at others how they drunk or pretend they are drunk and do something wild. nasty. silly. 

We went to Dalston clubbing after someone claimed he's drunk and want to have fun. And.....I do feel am old because what happened next was not I expected at all last night. Well, we had dinner together, a great feast by my high school classmate, who now is studying in Le Condon Bleu. Lobster Risotto, Sugar-Vinegar fish, Steak, Taiwanese Stew Pork noodles, salads and bottles of wines, chocolate, ice-cream.....Most important of all, that someone was the spark, he's the only male. It just made me wanna laugh that seeing whole room of girls were trying to talk to him. 

So man became different when drunk. or pretend to be drunk. We've been through what I had done long time ago. dirty dance, kisses, hugs, holding hands.........but some feeling different in me. I don't particularly feel excited; is it really because no more freshness for this? Including dirty talk with guys. 

Anyway, last night was fun, seeing myself in the past and realized I am moving on. Including to the married guy I told you the other day. 


xx & Love, 

Nana.

Letter Twenty Two

Dear Sis,

還記得三、四年前，某個好友深陷三角戀的時候，我輕輕地告訴她請想想對方家庭和孩子。

現在，或許是在異國太寂寞了(但，哪個時候不寂寞呢？) 又或許是認識的太快就覺得很欣賞他，所以心中對他有某種情愫，即便知道他超愛妻愛家愛小孩。

現在正在努力消化這種情愫當中，以及想起好友當時必定比我掙扎個千萬倍吧！喜歡上了從來就不容易輕輕脫逃，更何況是正在戀愛當中。戀愛中所有的猜測、衡量、比較，就像是玫瑰花刺，無法緊握。電話中突然停語的片刻、眼神停留的瞬間、鬧彆扭的時候，種種有可能是我自作多情的多想，但是總覺得有些什麼無法說破的感覺在流動。

所以現在我輕輕地告訴我自己：想想他的家庭與孩子。以及，我想要的男人與家庭是怎樣的，儘管愛情總是無法控制太多，但我總能掌握住我自己。希望是。

多希望你在我旁邊，沙發旁邊，坐著聽我說這些。

xx

Nana.